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as an update i am loosing my job because sxtore is closing i have no car insurance because i cant affored it so i am getting letters from my bank about how if i dont get car insurance as agreed in the loan contract my car will get taken away. even though i pay my car payments everytime. omgh what am i going to do

Thank you

I have been raped but i wasnt in a relashionship at the time.  but in my relationship now i have issues i watch evrything he does and size him up to see if he would actually protect me from that ever happening again to me.  if i was raped and had a boyfrien ill tell you this much i would be so hurt on why my boyfriend didnt come and save me weather he could have or not it would always be in myu mind also i would be ashamed.  the story you told to me doesnt make sence and their is a lot left out. a lot. i would say not to push her if she is not ready i didnt tell my mom i was molested by her friend until 2 years after it hsappened.  though if she is lieing or maybe changing the story a bit that is not good for you but if it is true the last thing you want to do is push and question and make her feel worse.  i would say the best way would be to do it in the most caring way possible let her feel like you are her shoulder to cry on.  being raped is something that does not go away it effects every relationship i cant even be alone with a man in a room with out being so uncomferatable.  i keep sizing them up like i said testing them seing if they will protect me it is kind of sad.  it is the worst thing that can happen to someone it changes your life today i have 2 kids and i wont even let them be with men alone.

you got me emotinal with your post.  I have food stamps thank the loard and medical for my babies but it is humiliating to even admit it. i am going to school to further my education to get out of the system it is embarrassing they kno weverthing about you and need to know  they are so into my life and i hate it and want to be done with it but i need it i barely survive with that . jumping through hoops for $200.00 in food stamps for me and my two babies.  everyday is a strugle and damned if i dont wish it could be over.  i will always put my babies first and have and will go out for my babies.  havnt gotten a new pair of shoes in years that have holes but my kids will get shoes when they need them.  it is a hard life to live poor its embarassing and so stressfull. putting on a fake smile for your children when inside your dieing. working so hard and still having nothing.. begging for more hours wishing i had the childcare to get a secound job thinking maybe than i could get a home for my children. maybe than i would have something more for them...  my heart aches and i get depressed, but i continue to go on for my boys because i have to for them they keep me going, even if they dont listen or break everything, or back talk ect. one of my kids hasspecial needs major behavioral problems for example he is four and got sent home for cutting his teacher and than through a big tantrum enraged.   oh my im so sorry for going on like this i guess i needed to vent sorry.

   Hello, I am a mother of two boy 4 and 5.  I am from california.  I have a job that barely makes my bills and i go to school so one day i will be a psychologist and help all the people i possible can.  I have a dream for my family to get a home for my children.  I dont make enough to get a home loan. I wish i could get a secound job but their is no childcare open 24/7.  I have a child in speach therapy he had a delay in speach now he is stuttering. My secound child has sevire behavioral problems and is in a special needs program. Just the other day he cut his teacher.  he also throws big tempertantrums i mean throwing things breaking windows hitting bitting people out of control.  One teacher told me i need to medicate him he is out of control this offended me.  I dont want my child on chemicals i would perfer to use natural things like teas or herbs.  i would rather him find a way to deal with his anger some coping mechanism.  I am not so quick to medicate my thought is if one day he stops taking the medicin on his own when he gets older he is going to have to deal with it than so why not learn it while he is young.  i do get stressed i do cry but i deal with it because i know it will be for the best when he grows and learns how to deal with his emotions on his own appropriatly.  The father of  my boys got deported and he wants me to move to mexico and live their.  though i have much love for him i have so many oppertunities for my babies hear i cant do that to them.  I try to explain how tough i have it over hear its going to be that much tougher for us over their.  i struggle everyday but i do this for my boys they saved my life really?  I have a bad past before i was a mother i was doing drugs and stupid irresponsable things.  it is embarassing and nobudy knows about my past exept my family of course.  i have been off of drugs when i found out i was pregnant and have been clean ever sence.  i grew up in a home of drinking and drugs abuse mulestations rapes. my dad beat me with things and left me alone with his friend to rape me than told me it was my fault that i wanted it.  i was 13 he was 3o something who wants that?  I know i am getting a bit personal and that is why i am anonymous.  i cant hold it in anymore it hurts. i get flashbacks of everything that has ever happened to me.  it wont leave my head i relive it... as i was saying though my boys test me and push me but they saved my life would i still be off drugs if i didnt have kids probobly no i would still be using but i just couldnt do to my children what my dad has done to me i didnt have the heart to do that to them they dont deserve that.. they deserve a chance to live the best life i in my power can give them.  They gave me my dreams they gave me my goals. ha they even give me my stress.  out side i try to put out this "i am so strong" effect.  though inside i feel week.  i have a dream to give my children a home a home of our own being 25 with two kids i believe i should have this but i feel it is to out of reach.  i dont make enough money for a loan i wanted t get a mobile home their cheeper than regular homes.  i work so hard but still dont have much.  i will go so long without anything new for myself just to give to my children.  i want to cry i feel like giving up right now.  but tomorrow ill wake up get up for work and do another day.  using again is not an option not to say i dont struugle with my own mind but i just cant i might as well die first before i use drugs again i would loose everthing i work so hard for every single day.  you might read this and think WOW way to much information can you believe thie crazy nut... i tell you though i dont like to ask for help i am so stubern it would take away from the fake i am so strong attitude i give, right?  i am not strong  i need help and i dont know what to do i am scared i am lonely and i hurt i am everthing i pretend not to be. this is not a joke this is not a fake this is someone who doesnt know how to get herself out of this hole of being poor god if i could only get a home of my own. i ahd an appartment once but they kept raising the rent a one bedroom appt small infested 1000$ a month. out on our own though i had much better self esteem i was so proud of myself how ashamed i was when i had to move into my grandmothers house with my mother.  well i guess i will i have typed enough of my life story im sure... right?  sorry for rambling on..... thank you!